38. I’m back…….

38. I’m back…….

For those of you who have been following this Blog for a little while, you know that I’ve taken a break. We had the opportunity of a lifetime to take our children on a European Adventure, an effort to make up for all the holidays that we couldn’t take during our time waiting in the […]

37. Sorry…I can’t talk right now.

37. Sorry…I can’t talk right now.

There were times over the eighteen months before our first trial where I just had nothing to give anyone other than Brad and our girls. I could go to work, take the kids to their appointments, cook dinners and play up the illusion that I was keeping it all together, but the reality was, I […]

36. Unintended Collateral

36. Unintended Collateral

I ran into a gorgeous friend of mine today. He’s about a decade younger than I am and was like the fun uncle to my girls before After. Ed and his like-minded mate, Drew, were crowd favourites of Kate and Ruby’s. They were work colleagues of mine. Every afternoon after school, Kate and Grace would […]

35. More Revelations…

35. More Revelations…

It was nearly a year After, that Ruby rendered me speechless…again. We were having a shower- I almost feel guilty admitting that I had a shower with my 5 year old- something I never considered before After. While we were in there, she told me that she had a sore vagina. Ruby suffers incontinence now […]

34. …and another!

34. …and another!

I can’t remember the exact time or place I was when Mel called to tell me that her baby girl made a disclosure to her. All I remember is that I wasn’t shocked, surprised or stunned. It was with a sense of resignation that I accepted the reality, that this man was the monster that […]

33. I want to kill myself…

33. I want to kill myself…

As we hit the 12 month After mark, the process was really beginning to take its toll. We were still no closer to knowing a court date, the kids were still seeing counsellors, life was rolling on, but there didn’t seem to be a silver lining. The further we got from Jen, the more withdrawn […]

32. Hindsight can break your freaking heart!

32. Hindsight can break your freaking heart!

As determined as I am to focus on the future, rather than things I cannot change, there are a few moments in time that I reflect on and wish I’d been able to knit them together to form a whole pattern sooner than I did. When I started putting together all the various “parts” that […]

31. “What are we doing here?”

31. “What are we doing here?”

As mentioned already, it took us two and a half years to get “our day” in court. That’s a lot of time spent preparing, or what I believe, re-living the trauma, for this momentous occasion. Part of this time was spent getting the girls “familiar” with the courthouse and the people that would be involved […]

30. Navigating Triggers

30. Navigating Triggers

Humans are sensory beings and our memories are closely connected to these senses. I know that I love the smell of sunscreen, because it reminds of summers spent at the local pool. The sound of rain on a tin roof is a comfort to me. There is a certain light at night that at the […]